Friday, October 10, 2008
Flobow Speaks Out Loud about Doing it all Over Again
R.N. Flobow talks out loud tonight about being tired and hurting. Now, I am injured and can't actively nurse the ill. My back has been injured since 2005. You know, it begins in nursing school....one wears themselves from giant macaroni shell size to a vermicelli. I remember seeing a sign that asked, "Is there life after nursing school?" Always tired....and it continues.....and continues.....and continues. We drive ourselves 'cause we know if we don't do it it will fall on someone elses shoulders who is also exhausted. When I was a new nurse, every time I had a night scheduled off the phone would ring and I was asked if I would work. I thought my duty was to say "Yes" so I did.....It didn't take me real long to learn that saying "No" was ok too. After learning to say No my manager later told me that she knew in the beginning if she called I would say "Yes" and she was going to "go" with that as long as she could. I think I worked 30 nights straight as my longest stretch. I couldn't sleep in the daytime.....exhausted was I.....I'm still exhausted though I am at home.....Why is it with looking back at the exhaustion I KNOW that if I could do it all over again....a blink of the eye.....I would do it in a heartbeat.....Maybe, a little smarter this time.....really taking time to soak in my time off and only occasionally saying, "Yes". Oh I probably would still say "Yes" as often as I could....In the whole wide world, there is nothing more rewarding then caring for others. Once a nurse always a nurse. Even now, I look for ways to be of service......Just something in us nurses that doesn't stop.....like the energizer bunny but in need of new batteries.....we keep going and going and going......and soak every minute of it up through zombie, exhausted batteries. When they can fix me, next time I will use electricity!
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